Married at 19? Do I wish?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage. Considering I’m a girl and I’m in a long-term committed relationship, it isn’t really surprising, right? Well, it kind of is when I’m only 19.

It’s not as if I WANT to get married right now – well, that’s a lie, I DO want to get married right now, but I know that my parents would disapprove, being a uni student I have no money for either a wedding (my wedding will be MASSIVE) or to move out right now, and we’ve only just come out of a 2 week break and an ensuing month of terrible weather barely standing, but still, all I can think is that I want to get married.

I don’t know if it’s the spectacle that I want, the entire wedding and everything, or if it’s the marriage – thinking about it more, I’ve decided it really is the marriage. I want to tie us together for the rest of our lives, so that I can sleep better at night thinking that he’s my husband and I don’t have to worry about him cheating ever – which is nonsense, because husbands still cheat. But it’s a pretty lousy reason for wanting to get married, isn’t it? I also don’t want to break up and have to find another partner. Lazy, don’t want to lose him, etc etc.

And thinking it through, thinking about my boyfriend and our relationship….I don’t know if it is HIM that I want to be married to or if its just that I want to get married and be happy and settle down.

Is it silly to be planning out my wedding already, at 19, when I’m not even sure that my boyfriend, the one I thought I wanted to marry, is the one I am GOING to marry.

After writing all of this, however, I’ve gotten over my aversion to marrying him. Why? Because I do believe that he loves me. Lately, I haven’t felt like it, but you know what? I don’t exactly act like I love him either. So maybe, if I improve, then he will too. No one’s perfect, right?

Besides. I love him. I really, really do.
Anyway, I wanted to post a picture of my dream wedding dress, but the site wouldn’t work, soooo just some photos about weddings that I find cute.

xx

(sources: ombre hair, halo bridal via easy weddings, wedding cake pictures and 4 my brides)